Day 29-

Hey guys, sorry I haven't posted in a few days. I've been so busy with homework, going to the gym, seeing my friends, and of course sleep (not enough of it I might add). I'm exhausted tonight, it's 11:30, and I know I should be in be, I have a 8:00 class, but I'm not, I'm on my way I promise. The good thing about being so busy the past couple days is I haven't even thought about my ex,  I haven't seen him this week either, which is strange since I see him everyday. Maybe he went home for a few days, who knows, the point is, it's helped me not think about him. I must say it's felt nice not having him take up a part of my brain.

Sometimes I wonder if he thinks of me, but then I remember, Oh wait he has another girlfriend already. Why am I the only one taking time off to find myself again? He's a guy...he sure did't find himself faster than me! I guess I'll never know how a boy thinks, especially him, all I can do is hope he knows what he's gotten himself into.


"Someday my prince will come...."

Day 26-working out

So I've been working out a lot. I decided I want to at least 3 days a week, I need to get in better shape, and it wouldn't hurt to lose a few pounds! So far I'm doing great, I've actually gone the past 4 days, and ended up gong twice today! Which was nice because the first time I did elliptical for an hour, and the second time I went with my friend  we did weights, so it was a good combination. I sometimes find myself dreading to go to the gym, but once I'm there and working out it feels so great! You forget about you're worries, your homework, just any problem in general. Not to mention working up a sweat makes you feel SO good about yourself! I love it!! So I strongly encourage you, if you are stressed out, or just plan tired of life in general, go work up a sweat! Go to the gym, go for a job, just do some jumping jacks, anything! I guarentee you will feel much better :)

Love you all!

Day 24

Dear future hubby,
I feel really down right now. I feel lost almost, it' wierd, I was fine today but all of a suddben tonight I started to feel super down and depressed. I don't know what came over me, I was with my friend Chelsea, who I'm sure you'll meet someday, and I was good, we went to dinner and a movie and on my way back to my dorm I just had a sad feeling come over me. Maybe I just need some sleep, it's been a tiring week. I have orientation for my new job in the morning, that's something to look forward too! :) I can't wait to meet you, I pray about you every day, I hope you do the same.

Goodnight, <3

Day 23- His love

So tonight I was at praise gathering. It's something we have every wednesday night from 10 p.m.-12 a.m, you can come and go as you please if you wish. I love going, and I try to go every wednesday night. It's a full night of complet worship, it's completely amazing, and can totally change your life. Tonight during worship, I just sat down and started crying and I had my journal with me so I wrote down some thoughts I'd like to share with you. I just kept writing thought after thought, so it might not make total sense but here we go.

Your love never fails, and yourlove never leaves. Your love is everything to me. God is all my heart needs and all it desires. Everytime I see Tony like yesterday in chapel, I'll give it to God, he is my healer and my refuge. Tony having a new girlfriend means nothing to me. God is my victory, he is everything to me. Your love fufills my every need. Through him comes my strength. No weakness will bring me down. Glory to God, for my treasure awaits for me. My life is not my own but it is God's, so therefore my daily life  should be lived out for him, and not for myself.

I realize this isn't in a certain order, like a story or a poem. But it was just my thoughts flooding out through a pen onto paper and what I hope is that it encourages you. No matter what the struggle is you're going through, just give it to God, our ocean may be raging, but he is the only one who can calm it.

Day 22-Giving it to God.

So first off if you don't know the I attend a Bible college, this means we go to Chapel everyday. And out of oh let's say 1,300 seats my ex was in the row right behind me today. Awkward? Oh yes, but I was with a bunch of girls off my floor, so I couldn't just get up and leave. I know he saw me, but he acted like I didn't exist. Real great I know, I'm sure that'd make his "new girlfriend" happy knowing he ignores me. But what caught me off guard was during worship I started weeping. Out of no where, because there he was, the boy who I thought I was going to marry, sitting behind me, ignorning me, and probably texting his girlfriend. All I could do was worship while I was weeping and give it to God, and honestly after praying and worshiping I felt at peace. I think him sitting there today is what I needed for me to give it to God like I did, because I've been holding it in. All I hope for now is that it gets easier everytime I see him, which I think it will, I don't want to be bawling everytime I see him haha :)

I guess my thoughts on it is that we will never understand God, he is to big to understand, but we do know he desires a relationship with us, his creation, and if we seek him we will no longer have that void in our hearts. Just because we have a limited understanding of God, doesn't mean we should have a weak faith.

Day 21 Continued...

Dear future husband,

I hope you're having a good week of classes, that is, if you're in school! I guess I don't know where you're at, if you're in school, graduated, working, but whatever you're doing I hope you feel just as blessed as I do. Can't wait to meet you.
xoxo
Liz

Day 21- Blessed

So it's Monday. Martin Luther King day, we didn't have classes which was really nice! So my good friend Kailin and I went out for lunch and worked on some homework, which may have or may have not turned into watching Jersey Shore and Knocked Up, anyways, it was a good day! I'm so thankful to have good friends.
 So far my first week back at school as been really successful! I'm enjoying my classes and I already found a job! I'm so thankful for that! I had two interviews and was hired after my first one, so I accepted the offer, it's a place I know I'm going to love working at! It's retail and I love working retail, so I know I'm going to enjoy it very much!
Looking at how great this week has been and thinking about how awesome my friends are, I know I'm truley blessed. God has such a big plan for me, and I can rest easy knowing that my future looks bright. :)

But off to bed for me, early class tomorrow morning, good thing I have the coffee pot ready! Love you all!

"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord.Trust also in Him, and He will do it." - Psalm 37:4-5

Day 20-Let's get caught up.

Alright guys, A lot has happened these last few days that I haven't posted, (I'm sorry). Classes have been going really great so far which is good! But alright this is where it gets juicy, after my last class on the first day I ran into my ex. Literally I turned and his face was right there, I could have just reached out and poked him! I immediately took of walking, but I saw in the corner of my eye he looked at me again. Strange? Well we haven't seen each other since September, and at the time we were still dating. So I'm sure he was just as shocked to see me as I was to see him. But wait, it gets better. The day after I see him he posted on his facebook he is in a new relationship. Ofcourse I'm blocked so my best friend filled me in on the details. Wow was I pissed. I'm passed being hurt, I'm just mad. It's a girl he talked to while we were dating, so it makes me wonder how long they had something there, because shortly after we broke up she deleted me on facebook. I thought nothing of it until now. How shady is that? If he felt something for her while we were together I consider that cheating, am I right?! Yeah, I know I am. He couldn't even tell me the truth, all he did was block me and avoid me. Some man he is, that's pretty immature, which just shows he shouldn't be in a relationship, especially when he knows what he did to me. Another thing it's only been three months, and this last saturday would have been our two year anniversary, I think that goes to show our relationship meant nothing to him. I don't think that ring he gave me meant a whole lot. It was pretty though, for the time being.

I guess this is all part of growing up, showing this won't bring me down is going to make me a stronger person. What I have to look forward to is that I will find someone who will truley love me, and it's going to be a huge "upgrade" and will be better than I can possibly imagine. I guess this is all for tonight, I have to run and put clothes in the dryer before someone opens up my washer, love you all :)

Day 17-Continued

Dear future hubby,

I hope you're a focused person, I really need someone who can keep me on track :)

Lizzy.

Day 17-Focus

I ran into my ex yesterday, if that wasn't bad enough I found out today he has a new girlfrind. Who was a friend of his while we were still together. I won't go into further details because venting abeout it isn't going to help me. Yes, I'm very angry, but it just shows how dishonst he was with me, and I don't need that negativity in my life. What I need to do is focus on my school, and focus on building relationships with people. I need a solid support system here to help and encourage me. My ex is no longer a part of my life, and he's not who I thought he was, it makes it seem like our relationship was fake, and meant nothing to him. I just hope he knows what he's doing and will learn from his mistakes. As for me, I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time and bigger things are coming my way, I can feel it! :)

Day 16- Continued

Dear husband,

Is God your number one priority? I sure hope so, because he will be the number one in our relationship. So I hope your taking  this time before we meet to get to know him.
Love you!

Lizzy.

Day 16-...

My heart will sing no other name, Jesus, Jesus...


Why should our hearts be focused completely on anything besides God, our creator? He made us, in our mothers wombs, in his image, and I think sometimes we take him for granted. We put him second when he should be first. No one should be put first before God, that includes significant others, family, friends, co workers, etc.

Just some thoughts for the night.

Day 15- Continued

Dear future husband.
Wow I'm sooo excited to meet you. I just KNOW that you are never going to treat me the way I was treated before, you are my true Prince Charming, and someday our fairytale will begin! I love you already!

Lizzy <3

Day 15- school

Hey guys sorry I haven't posted in a few days! I've been pretty busy the past couple days and haven't been on my computer a whole lot! But I got all moved into my dorm and it's looking great!  Classes start tomorrow morning, Im both excited and nervous but I'm sure everything will go great! My best friend came with me to help me move in, we had so much fun! We used to be roommates freshman year so it gave us the chance to relive that while she stayed here, what a blast!

So I had a couple people tell me that they saw my ex while he stopped by school for registration. I never saw him so he must have came while I was moving in. I guess I'm getting.pretty scared to see him. I really need to not care, I've realized more than ever in the past two days that he was and is the biggest jerk. The things I went there, how did I put up with that for so long? I really have no idea. When you think about it, no one should have to put up with any of that, and a good boyfriend wouldn't have done anything like that to me. When it comes down to it, it all has to do with maturity. Yes, I know shocker! My ex is super immature, and I've realized that. That's the only reason for the way I was treated. My promise ring meant nothing to him because he couldn't give me that commitment, or he didn't understand the real meaning of it. Who gives a girl a promise ring, takes them engagement ring shopping, and then proceeds to put a picture up of him and another girl on his facebook display picture? Can you get any lower? What a jerk, ugh! Well that's my venting for now. All i can do it trust that the  Lord has better plan for me!

"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."
- Psalm 34:7

Day 11- Continued

Dear future husband,
I'm moving back to school tomorrow! Are you in school? If so, and I don't meet you, have a great semester! And please travel safely when you go back from Christmas vacation! Thanks!!

Lizzy.

Day 11- Moving

Just so everyone knows, I think G6 is the most ridiculous song I have ever heard. It's stupid, thee end.


So on to better subject, my blog. Tomorrow I am hitting the road back to school in Minneapolis, boy am I pumped! But I'm also extremely nervous. Not about actually going to school, I've lived at North Central before, I know what's up. But seeing my ex, that's what makes me so nervous. I know what you're thinking "don't let the thought of seeing him control you", which yes, is good advice and I really am trying. In a way I don't care at all, I think the part I'm most nervous about is how he will react when he see's me. If he purposely avoids me he's a woose,  and I know I have nothing to worry about, but if he smiles, what do I do? Smiling at me would be weird, considering he told me he didn't want to talk to me. So I guess I really don't know how I want him to react. I would rather just not see him, but I know at some point I will see him. So it's better to prepare myself.

 On a higher note, I'm so excited to see all my friends that still go there, and better yet my best friend is helping me move back! It's going to be so much fun! So pray the weather is good for driving! I'll do my best to post tomorrow night and let you know how the trip there went! I will be moving in my dorm on Monday morning, so please be thinking about me incase I run into that certain someone at registration. Thanks everyone!



Also, for all you candy lovers out there, my friend Matt along with his wife and parents just bought a online candy store! Looks like some really great stuff, so check it out and show some support! :)

http://stores.ebay.com/Ashley-Berry-Candy-Company

Day 10- Continued

Dear future husband of mine,
I wonder when your birthday is? Just so you know I absolutely LOVE birthdays! I even acknowledge my half birthday, I'm kind of a dork in that sense, so you're going to just have to learn to be okay with that. :)
Love you!
  Lizzy

Day 10- Birthdays

Exactly seven months from now I will be 21 years old, exciting right? Well the 7th of this month is also another 21st birthday, my ex's ofcourse. Don't get me wrong, I really hope he had a good day, but at the same time it's like wow, I'm missing his 21st birthday. I've spent his 19th, and 20th birthday with him, but not the big 2-1. For his 19th birthday I took him to a NBA Timberwolves game, it was a lot of fun, and for his birthday last year I took him to a CBA Wizards  game, so I guess this year I had planned on something like that, but that tradition was a year two lifespan. I guess that goes to show not all traditions can last forever. But that's okay, someday I can be makng new traditions. :)

To any of my viewers, if today just happens to be your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!


"Tradition simply means that we need to end what began well and continue what is worth continuing”

Day 9- Continued

Dear future husband,
I hope you have found a best friend as good as mine. If you have, you're very lucky, and I know you're in good hands. This best friend will be there for you and help you grow, and I'll always be thankful to them for being there for you until I find you.
-Love you,
--Lizzy.

Day 9- Kinect

To all my viewers, I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday, there just wasn't enough time in the day...

I was up at my best friend Courtney's farm yesterday, it was such a fun night! We went to dinner with her family, and then proceeded to play kinect for five hours. For those of you who do not know what kinect is, it's like wii but with no remote, and it's from the makers of xbox 360. I love wii, but this was also a lot of fun! We went on xbox live and played volleyball and track against other people playing on their kinect, which I thought was pretty neat! There was also bowling, and boxing. Now the boxing, what a way to get out some aggression! There was a mini round where you punch people and you want to knock out as many as possible in the time that it gives you. It actually relieved a lot of stress, let me tell you! You can imagine who I was thinking of as I was knocking out these people, it's pretty obvious so I won't even mention the name/names. :)

Needless to say working out for five hours Courtney and I were pretty wide awake, so we went upstairs and watched Tuesday nights episode of Biggest Loser and made some turtle brownies, which were delicious! I think it was around 1:30 when we finally decided to go to bed, we were tired, but then something just happened and Courtney ended up coming into my room twice and talking to me until three in the morning! It was a good talk though, I miss being roommates with her and staying up late talking, brought back some good memories :)

                                         Our delicious brownies :)

Little advice, when you're going through a hard time, your best friend will always be there for you, thanks bestie!


                                                 

Everyone hears what you say.
Friends listen to what you say.
Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Day 8- Continued

Dear Future husband,
If you're at school just think, we could be meeting very soon! I really don't know if I want that yet, I'm just at the beginning of this journey! But if we do, let's just be friends for a little bit :) If you're not at school, wherever you are, I hope you're stayiong safe, and living a good life :)
Love you
Lizzy

Day 8-5 days

So in just five days I will be moving back to school. Were my ex will be attending this spring. We actually met there in 2008 and both left, and we are both returning in the spring. What a bad coincidence if you ask me. I must admit, I'm very nervous to run into him for the first time. I ask myself, "what if I run into him at registration Monday morning?" How Do I react? Do I smile? Do I wave? Or do I acknowledge him but then just keep walking? I think I'll go with that one. See, where on no speaking terms, he said he doesn't want to talk to me. So I'll be the bigger person and acknowledge him, but I won't say anything, I honestly have nothing to say if he can't even talk to me. I wonder if he's nervous to see me, or if he cares? Sigh, life's complicating. I think it'll be easier to see him after the first time- I hope anyways. I mean I think it'll always be hard, but not as gut wrenching as the first time...


"Cast all your anxiety unto Him for He cares for you."
-1 Peter 5:7

I have this memory verse tattooed on my back, what a encouraging reminder it is. :)

Day 7- Continued

Dear Future Hubby,

I hope you like positive, strong girls, because baby, I'm hyped on the thought of a happy life! I'm finding out how much strength I really have and I'm getting through! God's putting me in perfect shape for you, the big guy knows what he's doing, so let's trust him :)
-Lizzy.

Day 7- Quote it.

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."
— Marilyn Monroe

 

 

Today I'm finding my inspiration from Marilyn. I'm even wearing my Marilyn Monroe shirt! How awesome am I? I was going through some of her quotes today, which I do often, I love reading them, and I came across the one I put for you above. Wow she's so right "life's a beautiful thing, and there's so much to smile about" I'm not to the point where I'm falling in love with life, but I'm starting to appreciate it again. I'm healing, and it's the best feeling. I'm so thankful knowing who my true friends are, they've been there for me, and I wouldn't be who I am today without them, and Marilyns right, sisters DO make the best of friends, and I'm lucky to have three of them.

 

Having a broken heart can really bring you down, I'm not ashamed to say it put me at my worst, I felt depressed and felt like I wasn't good enough, and that no one would love me again. But now I feel alive, I know I can't give up on finding my soulmate, he's out there, and God knows exactly when we'll meet, how exciting is that? The possibility of ever having another heartbreak is scary, but if I have God there, I can get through anything, no fear. I am a strong woman of Christ and I believe in myself, so my prince charming, who ever you are, be ready, I'm full of life and ready for happiness :)

Day 6- Continued

Dear future husband,

It's been a long day,I'm really tired and I have a headache. Hopefully you're doing much better. My church is doing this One Year Bible and I picked one up today. I think reading the Bible in one year is going to help me on my Journey and help me get closer to God. I think he has a lot of cool things in store! Maybe you're doing the One Year Bible too, how neat woud that be? If not, maybe it is something we could do together someday. I'm going to go start my reading and get to bed, I'm exhausted! Sleep well.

-Lizzy.

Day 6- Sunday

I have't had a lot of inspiration today, so I'm sorry I don't have a whole lot to say. I have a lot on my mind I guess. My grandpa is in the hospital- they're talking cancer. I move in a week, my sisters baby is going to be born any day now. It just seems like life's moving so fast and I have no time to just think. You know what I mean? On top of everything, I have a really bad headache, so that is just lovely!

It's the 2nd day of the New Year, I was thinking today, "I wonder what you're doing, how your New Year's was" Then I had to remind myself I don't care. It's hard not caring about the things you used to treasure so much.


"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27 NIV

Day 5- Continued

Dear future husband of mine,
Happy New Years! :) I've been wondering if I'll meet you this year!? I think 2011 is going to have a lot of surprises, and maybe you're included!!! What a shocker that would be. Anyways...I worked all day today, it wasn't fun! Along with it being a holiday today it is also VERY cold, so I think a lot of people stayed home today instead of coming, I don't blame them. I would have rather been at home in sweat pants sleeping, or watching a nice movie. I hope you had a great New Years, can't wait to spend our first one together! Love you!


"I might have to wait, I'll never give up
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life"

-Haven't met you yet, by Michael Buble

Day 5- What Hurts the Most

What hurts the most, was being so close,
and having so much to say, and watching you walk away,
and never knowing, what could have been.
-Rascal Flatts

Word to the wise, if you watch this music video you WILL indeed cry.

I guess those lyrics pretty much speak for themselves. You think that everything you two have is your entire world, you're best friend, you know everything about each other, then one day it disappears. Quite a reality check if you ask me, it feels like your fairtytale kingdom you created for the two of you was destroyed by the evil witch. Well that's how I feel anyways. My fairytale is still being written, but I guess you could say it has a "writers block" at the moment, which is fine by me.